Players Are Stupid

Baulder's Gate, where u at girl?

Part 1

Upon reaching the shore, the party soon realized that the whole city region of Baulder’s Gate was completely gone. Like gone, gone. Like totally gone! Only a seemingly mechanically-made crater remains. Without any sort of inspection (besides looking up), Urth the cleric of Umberlee walked right in the crater, without any detriment (or so it seemed). The sole remaining structure was a 15-story tower inside the crater.

While on the boat, Cavanaugh mangled his flute while trying to carve a point into it for the purpose of making it a flute-dagger. Its awful sound reflected their misfortune as he played while they marched.

The party traveled across the crater to save time (instead of going around), bypassing the tower. Their destination was a group of common folk on the outskirts of town. There were maybe 200 confused travelers sharing the same questions as the party, “What happened to the city?”. Among them were many lost souls with tons of side quests, merchants and anything else a group of young adventures would need. The only one of them that held any interest was a musician who had market valued flutes for sale.

Cavanaugh, tried to barter with the musician but he had no money or wealth to barter with. So, he did what every spoiled brat bard would do in this desperate time, he charmed the musician. His charm spell worked, but not well enough to get a free unscathed flute. Rather, he got himself a trade (dagger-flute -1, for flute). This would have to suffice and the party would have to leave before the spell wore off. Cavanaugh took a couple minutes to try again to make himself a dagger-flute. This time he was successful, to the extent that it would work as a dagger, but he might cut himself if he tried to use it as a flute.

Captain Morris, heartbroken and broke decided to escort the unfortunate band of travelers to the nearest town for a small fortune. Groll also went with Morris as the party completely forgot about the gold he owed them, and about him for that matter. Cap’n Morris offered them a piece of his fortune for their assistance, but the party turned him down, for their interest in the tower in the crater far outweighed his offer.

The party reached the tower and felt a very strong magic energy radiating from it. The tower sat 50 feet in the air on a pile of earth that also seemed unaffected by whatever mystery that happened upon Baulder’s Gate. After some skillful climbing and acrobatics, the party found themselves at the entry way of the tower. Urth tried to open the door, but it sprang back like rubber. “You must have permission to enter here,” the tower bellowed. This made Urth quite agitated and he had to resist the urge to bash the tower into oblivion. The other party members said, “May we come in?” almost ‘n sync (ain’t no lie baby bye, bye, bye), and the door opened ominously.

Inside, the tower was ornately decorated with artifacts wealthy grandmothers would drop their panties over. The party felt a strong humming sound inside the tower. All Peldu could think of was, “Is there anything I can burn?” Apart from a wooden door and the carpet, the answer was, “NO”. (Btw, the boat wasn’t even done burning on the ocean). The room seemed like a museum. Rare magic items were behind quarts display cases. Each item seemed to house some magical properties and once belonged to a historic figure of importance. Annabelle wasn’t feeling very kleptic today and didn’t try to take a single thing. The large entry room lead to two other rooms and a large staircase on the far side. After reading a couple of the elven descriptions of the artifacts, they got bored and moved on to one of the rooms.

Again Urth opened the door but was met with the rubber ward. This time the question was, “What do you desire the most?”. Tim answered, “To find out what happened to Baulder’s Gate”, and the door opened the same as before. This room was the same as the previous one, except that all the items belonged to the same legendary man, Churix Maltang. Among the items was a bright suit of plate mail armor that Urth was trying to find a way to justify procuring for himself. After more boring reading, the party went out to investigate the other room and were met with the same door-ward.

“What are your crimes?” the tower asked. Urth responded, “Killing those dwarves in Waterdeep?”. The tower did not believe that Urth thought that to be a crime, and it was right. Cavanaugh said that the worst thing he ever did was throw those two short swords at Waldorf. The tower believed he felt remorseful and it opened. Inside was a room similar to the last except it was ransacked – broken quarts scattered everywhere. Did this spark Annabelle’s urge to do a little ransacking of her own? Nope. This room was idolizing a great hero known as St… Wait, no, they just left and went to the stairs.

The winding stairwell went in both directions. Above, they figured there were 15 floors of mystery to be uncovered. Below, they thought… let’s go down instead! The staircase was lined with candles that got dimmer as they descended. Cavanaugh took one of the bright ones and it didn’t lessen as he descended. Finally about 15 floors down the candles were out and the party found themselves on a landing with nothing but a hole into the darkness. Urth illuminated some ball bearings and threw some down the hole and he figured it was a couple of ropes away from making the climb.

The humming sound from the tower was almost completely gone and the party was left with a conundrum. The thing Tim desired the most in this world was to uncover the mystery of Baulder’s Gate’s disappearance, and the sole lead they had must be within the walls of the wizard’s tower. But on the other hand there was water down below, what was that all about?

The party climbed down the hole which opened up into a huge cavern with so many stalactites and stalagmites one would think they were breeding up in here. Soon, the party was attacked by an Ankheg. There was acid, smashing, pinching and Peldu almost got eaten, but in the end they survived! Urth got 9/12 pieces of Ankheg to make plate armor out of.

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