Players Are Stupid

Total Party Kill or Totally Killer Party?

Part 1

As Cavanaugh and Stanwick entered the town, they were greeted by many friendly human faces. They were kind, and easy to converse with. The duo inquired around town as to any information regarding Cavanaugh’s lost compadres. No one knew a thing about their whereabouts, but were eager to help in any way possible. Without any money, they inquired about gaining access to a room within the local inn. Cavanaugh thought about stealing a key, when Stanwick offered to work in exchange for free room and board. The inn keeper agreed to his terms, and needed their assistance tonight during the Great Harvest Festival. Cavanaugh found himself offering up his musical talents to the upcoming festival. The Inn keeper was delighted to graciously accept his offer as well. They found their room, neat and tidy. They rested a couple hours, waiting for the sun to set and their upcoming task to begin. Cavanaugh thought about fleeing without keeping to his end of the arrangement, but he was truthfully excited about preforming again. Plus, he had the feeling these kind people were going to be generous with their admiration, even if he were undeserving.

As the sun set, the festivities started. Cavanaugh played a beautiful, happy tune that really lifted the spirits of the town greatly. Stanwick was tasked with getting lonely people to dance and get the party generally started. He was even better at being likable and social than he was at being a true hero. They danced and ate until they were sore, then danced some more. Cavanaugh’s ribs hurt from a night filled with laughter and pleasantries.

Meanwhile, back inside the mountain, the party had a full eight hours of rest and felt ready to take on anything; except they weren’t. The party members without dark vision (Annabelle and Urth) suffered another level of exhaustion after spending another day in the Underdark. At this point they had disadvantage on attack rolls along with saving throws. They banished their impenetrable tent of resting to discover they were surrounded by gnolls and some bat/demon thing circling above! The gnolls were trying to attack the winged-fiend when they noticed the party awake, still with sleep in their eyes. Without introductions our heroes attacked with little to no hesitation. The winged beast was the demon sent by Devon and it was hell-bent on getting his gold back at all costs. “We like the gold”, were Urth’s exact words when he figured out the intent of the vrock (winged demon). The vrock shot out a poison cloud upon them and Annabelle was the only one affected. She took poison damage every single round. The gnolls traded blows with the heroes. Tim was quick to use his largest spell “fireball”, burning half the gnolls with little trouble. Annabelle was frustrated, missing most of her attacks due to her exhaustion. She debated fleeing through the cave, but was reminded of the hydra. (Like it is still there 8 hours later. I am sure it has something better to do than stare at a hole for 8 hours. I mean it isn’t a proctologist). Too bad they didn’t know it was dead. Everyone was quick to use their big spells upon this avoidable encounter. The vrock soared around swiping and biting everyone who had Devon’s gold (which was everyone in the party). Cavanaugh was the only smart one who ditched his gold at the Sodomorea tavern.

(Side note: Earlier the vrock crashed through the ceiling of the tavern and proceeded to eat the patrons. Once everyone died the gold was collected and it continued on to find the party camping out.)

Annabelle took her last dose of poison to cause her to fall on the ground, dying. Urth used another spell to cure the poison and heal her a little. After a tough battle they managed to best Devon’s minion. Meanwhile, back on the sex ranch, Devon decided to send his biggest demon yet upon the Underdark. It was a baylor (huge horns, fire whip, tons of scary fire!) It was a dick-move, but his impatience was growing with each failure.



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