Players Are Stupid

Fungus Amongus

isn't that a song?

The party left the warm embrace of the sex cult, only to find a tired disorientated Urth outside. He looked like Urth, smelled like Urth and even had Urth’s worldly possessions. But for some reason the party didn’t believe it was him and started giving him the 3rd degree (OOC maybe it was that the player of Urth didn’t make it to the session). After Annabelle the rogue asked Urth to recite a prayer of Umberlee the doppelganger attacked! He just wanted to hang out with “’dem guyz”, but NO, they had to use out-of-game knowledge to spoil the fun.

During the fight a portal opened up and Cavanaugh the bard-monk stepped out uttering the words, “I don’t want to talk about it”. Seeing that the party was attacking Urth and not knowing it was a doppelganger Cavanaugh jumped right in uttering “finally!” and proceeded to beat up on the guy. The doppelganger read Peldu’s mind and tried to reason with them explaining “I am really Urth, I know things like how it was really Peldu who burned down that boat”. In which Peldu replied “Psh, everyone knows that”. The bard-monk jumped on Urth repetitively punching him in the face and rode him for an un-impressive 8 seconds (which was NOT a world record). Finally he was restrained by Cavanaugh, and instead of asking him where the “real” Urth was or how he acquired his belongings, Annabelle killed the doppelganger who was just looking for friendship.

After looting Urth, they noticed a strange boomerang that was named “Bangerang”. Everyone was scared to touch the vibrating crescent. They poked at it a little, until finally Annabelle picked it up. She lined up the dead doppelganger against the wall for target practice, and threw Bangerang! It soared towards the cadaver before making a quick left turn and disappeared into the darkness. Moments later after hearing a “thud, mmmm” sound Bangerang returned to Annabelle’s hand. Everyone was quite impressed except Annabelle who was all “meh”. She gave Bangerang to Cavanaugh as he knew how to operate strange instruments.

Moments later a strange jellyfish creature approached them at slow speeds. The party stood still rife with terror from this 7 HP monster but did nothing proactive about it. Tim the apprentice started to think to himself about what to do. The creature, or “flump” started to telepathically communicate with Tim, the master of negotiation. As it turns out the flump has lost his “cloister” and was seeking a way to find them again. If the party accepted his escort quest, he would reward them with knowledge of safe passage to the surface world! They accepted his quest but Peldu was particularly weary of the beast.

There were two passages, left and right. The air circled in a vortex manor from right to left. The party didn’t get that it might be a circle and went back and forth, and forth and back, about which way to proceed. The doppelganger (while alive) seemed to want them to NOT go left, where as the flump came from the left, so surely there was nothing in that direction (though they didn’t ask it what was over there). Then they finally went left after flipping a coin (let the record show that Cavanaugh wanted to go right instead).

Three of the party members could see in the dark, which was great for night strolls in the Underdark. Annabelle was left sightless, so she cast Dancing Lights, which was both beautiful and entertaining to watch! Then she heard a horrific scream that would not stop. Apparently something up ahead in the fungal forest didn’t like Peldu’s face, or Tim’s fat face, or maybe Cavanaugh’s half smile he cut in his face, or it must be Annabelle (she does have a little bit of “bitch face”).

She turned off the dancing light and the sound turned off. They didn’t have any rope to guide Annabelle, so Peldu offered to hold the underage girl’s hand to “guide” her through the darkness. Then Cavanaugh also offered the same proposal to the jail-bait. Tim, being a follower and widely wanting to be excepted by his peers, made the same offer… while eating a doughnut.

She turned them all down and decided to walk alone, in the dark. Everyone avoided the fungal spores until it happened, which it was only a matter of time – Annabelle stepped on one! Dark, green, poison spores shot everywhere and they all hit the deck, except the bard-monk who got hit with the stuff right in the face. Cavanaugh felt as if maybe in 28-30 days he would die from the “Athlete’s Death” disease that he now had. Whoa, I ain’t going to take any showers after that guy, even with flip-flops!

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