Players Are Stupid

Spring Break in Sodomorea

The party found themselves at the grand entrance of the old city of Sodomorea. Music and screams plagued their ears as they approached. Upon entering this city they realized that the river not only ran throughout the city, but was a major focal point within’ the city’s structure. The river filled the canals separating each district, and restricted each district by a single bridge leading across each sector. The whole city was experiencing a special brand of havoc, seeing as there was a tremendous amount of looting, rioters, public nudity, and anything nefarious one would expect at the Rodney King verdict.

Peldu was determined to figure out the mystery of this foul city-scape, so he grabbed the next person who came by him for the purpose of strong-arming him for information. The problem with this was that the person he grabbed was not above hurting a stranger who got in his way. And that is what he did. He instantly stabbed the barbarian multiple times in the gut, leaving him close to death’s door, but luckily for Peldu, Death was not home at the moment. Suffice to say, Peldu got his question answered with a big “FUCK YOU”. Instead of going the safe route through the mushroom crops that seemed to be unoccupied by destruction, the party opted to “blend in”. Cavanaugh was already nude, so this plan wasn’t such a long shot. They ran past a group of people whipping a brute of a man, who then grabbed hold of the whip and started to retaliate against his assailants. They walked past many similar incidences that would make a lawful character stop and help, but these were not lawful people. They seemed to fit right in at Sodomorea! Did they find home?

They managed to get to the other side of the merchant district without any trouble, and they found the stream splintered off and lead out of town to the west. They opted to continue over the bridge to the residential district. While on the bridge, Cavanaugh (the most attractive one of the bunch) was approached by a topless lady, who was a solid Underdark 8 by anyone’s standards (which is the same as a surface girl 4). She propositioned the bard for an intimate night to celebrate the “end of days”. He turned her down flat, as he would rather have felt his own touch than that of a women who wouldn’t know the first thing about “how he liked it”. Insulted, the woman slapped the bard across the face and found another prospect down the road. Side note: They fell in love for one night that was so filled with passion that even Sune, the God of love watched and marveled!

Down the road they were approached by some brutes that were protecting the district after being privately contracted to do so. It was clear this town was void of any laws, or law enforcers. And these guardians were the only thing keeping the looters out. The party paid off the rent-a-brutes with gold, and gained entry to a local bar that was still standing. This seedy establishment was not even close to occupancy, but the party took a table and sot out information. Peldu who was very close to death wouldn’t stop uttering the word “bed”, as to indicate where he wished he was. Everyone ignored his request until Urth could “stands it no more”, and popped a heal on the poor bastard just to shut him up. After dropping more than a few coin, they found that a cult of some sort came into town a month or so ago with tales of the Apocalypse and first rid the town of all opposition. After hearing the news, Urth was concerned that it might be the same cult of doppelganger-mees, and he didn’t want to get spotted. (It was a devil cult btw, totally different). Urth dropped a precious gem on the table and asked the female barkeep to acquire him a cloak, and I mean fast!

The barkeep took the rare gem and spoke with a slender and somewhat shady looking figure in the corner of the establishment. After a suspicious nod, the shady figure stood up, and walked over to a patron drinking alone. The slim-shady figure slit the patrons neck, killing him instantly. He then removed the cloak from the corpse and handed it over to the barkeep. Everyone surely noticed this unfortunate occurrence, although they didn’t seem phased by it. Urth happily took the cloak and rushed the party outside, back into the chaos. There were plenty of inns where they could get their barrings, but Urth didn’t wish to stay in this wretched town any longer than absolutely necessary. They decided to scout around town some more and they arrived at the huge dam located on the north side of the town. Annabelle decided to climb the dam cliff, but it was covered in algae and she slipped and hurt her tuckas!

Tim had the great idea to swim across the canal, which was being fed from the bottom of the dam. He wanted to scout out the other district, so he took some rope and tied it around him. Why did they pick the Mage with the lowest armor and hit points? Well, he is fat, and he does float very easily…. oh right, the water breathing potion didn’t wear off yet. Tim jumped right in the canal and noticed that the water was quite freezing and hypothermia was imminent. That is, if the baby hydras didn’t eat him first! Tim tried to out swim the eel-looking younglings. He didn’t give up though, he swam like a fat piece of bait and they bit like he was a fat piece of bait! He was about to reach the other side, when his body turned motionless as he ran out of life. The rest of his friends reeled in the fat piece of bait, and again the baby hydras started to chew him up; again like a fat piece of bait! He almost died forever, but was saved by his swol companions. They gained no insight or information for this great swim, and if they only walked around to the bridge they would have saved a lot of time and energy. Tim now knew that, damn it, he tastes good. It was a question he had always had, but auto-cannibalism gave him the heebie-jeebies. So, their next task was apparent – get to a general store, and possibly get some Mardi Gras beads!



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