Players Are Stupid

What Happens In Sex-Cult, Stays In Sex-Cult

What I just came for the slot machines?

I found Devon while I was blending in, disguised as a large phallic. I agreed to tug on his shaft for him, in exchange for a magical tracking artifact called GPS. In pulling the lever, the hundreds of tiny demons turned into half as many small demons, the small demons turned into half as many medium ones, and so on and so forth until there was one more gigantic demon in the pen!

Cavanaugh just finished playing tug-o-war with his cyclops when he was startled by Devon and myself who walked into the barracks. Cavanaugh quickly stashed the “education material” behind his back, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. We both knew he was helping put Mr. Kleenex’s kids through college. Seeing that the bard-monk was familiar with his sexuality, Devon offered a deal to him – have sensual intercourse with this snake-headed man, OR die by having rough sex with this snake-headed man. Cavanaugh tried to explain that he was all tapped out from his self-induced penile regurgitation, but Devon was not interested in Cavanaugh’s buttering of his own corn on the cob.

Finally, Cavanaugh agreed to Devon’s demands after getting introduced to one of the larger demons in the ceiling. First Cavanaugh was instructed to take a ceremonial bath (he was a little rank). Then he had to pick some nice foliage from the mushroom garden, which he managed to make a nice bouquet of ‘shrooms. Then he met the snake-headed male and nervously awaited for him to come down the stairs. Finally the snake-headed man stood at the top of the stairs, and boy did he change. He wore the same acolyte’s robes as Cavanaugh but for some reason it looked amazing. The snake-headed man strolled down the stairs with such class and grace. Devon had a boutonniere for the snake-headed man’s wrist but Cavanaugh quickly intercepted it and wanted to do the honors!

They went out and had the best date of their lives! They talked about music and art – not in a pretentious way. They both agreed that George Samual’s work fuses chaos with order, with lines and shapes laid randomly at first glance. Closer inspection gradually reveals that a set of rules governs the placement of shapes and the choice of colors. Thus, the artist challenges the viewer to explore the rules encoded in the subconscious that shape our aesthetics, to consider why we find beauty in the juxtaposition of chaos and order. Rather than any implied meaning or message, the minimalist nature of these paintings encourages the viewer to consider the visual qualities of the work – the composition, surfaces, textures and the relationship of depicted space to line and form. In simplicity, art becomes more direct and incisive in its dissection of the human mind, a more lucent mirror of our collective subconscious.

Cavanaugh wasn’t normally into snake-headed people before but there must have been something in the air because he was feeling very open-minded! After the date they romanticly consented to each other and with the help of “mage dick” a demon child was born!

“Never forget me”, hissed the snake-headed man as he drew in his last breathe, trying to breath in as much of his lover as possible in hopes that they will meet again in the afterlife! “I will never speak of this day, as no words can ever do it justice”, Cavanaugh responded, and left a single tear on the snake-headed males lips.

Devon kept to his word and used his teleporter to grant the bard-monk fast travel to his companions. Devon went back and found the orcs and 5 days later there were 5 more acolytes in his sex-dungeon and he was back on track! But for what exactly?

While creating a new, more powerful, sculpted, stone guardian Devon noticed that something was terribly wrong. The guardian wouldn’t stay still, then he realized that not all the gold was back in the enchanted fountain and the stone guardian went out the door hunting for its loot. Listen, and understand. That stone guardian is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead and the gold is returned!



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